My Journey Through Life, So Far
by Lesley Renee Charles
I have highlighted the major bits of my college years, but I have to back track a little and tell of some of my experiences when I lived in the college dorms.
To begin with I had to fight my whole Senior year of High School to be able to live in the dorms. I lived within the 10 mile radius and the college was denying me the right to live on campus because of that. Meanwhile they also guaranteed Freshmen housing. See the conundrum.
It was a great battle with government at its best. There were many times I was ready to give it up, because it was never ending, but my guidance counselor told me to keep at. And she was so right. By the time I was ready to graduate, I was told that I could stay in the lounge until I had a room assignment. Then about a month or two after that I had a roommate assignment.
My first roommate was very active sexually and this cause a lot of problems in that some of the guys would like to get even with him. I remember one time waking up to see a clay penis on the room door. I left it up hoping that he would take care of it, but he didn't. I guess he thought it was a compliment. I had to remove it and felt disgusted at the time.
At this time, I was very inactive sexually. Just pleasured my self. I guess I am what you might call asexual as I really don't have real strong desires for sex. I love cuddling and that sort of stuff, but I can take or leave the sexual intercourse part.
On my dorm floor were two brawny football players, (American Football). They were bigger than me and loved to render me helpless especially after they found out I am very ticklish especially the soles of my feet. The two of them would love to get me on their laps and take my shoes off so that they could get to my feet. They loved to make me laugh so hard. To describe how I was at the time, 5'7” and about 140 pounds. I was very scrawny at the time.
As for my gender issues, I was back to trying to force myself to accept being born male. I still thought of myself as female, but decided that since I was born male I should try to accept it. Big mistake as it led to many years of misery.
I have always imagined myself in female roles. For example if I was in a scary situation, I would pretend to be Nancy Drew working on a mystery. When I was younger, my mother tried to get me into the Hardy Boys, but I did not like them, but fell in love with Nancy Drew books. I loved how she used her wits to get out of situations instead of physical force.